If we had to choose just one thing Caleb taught us...

He taught us that we CAN handle a special needs child, something we never imagined we would ever be able to do.  There is really no way to describe all that Caleb taught us and still continues to teach us each day.  Caleb taught us more then we could ever put into words.  We certainly learned to live each day to the fullest, no matter what circumstances we were under.  We struggle with the feeling that Caleb is in a better place…but on his 2^nd birthday, we REALLY wish he was here with us.

Since Caleb’s passing…we have learned that we have to keep busy.  We have to stay busy focusing on the future.  John and I certainly cannot watch dramatic or any type of “depressing” movie!  Even the smallest stories on the news about children catches our attention!  Our heart aches even more for those we know who are caring for a child with medical issues or have lost a child themselves because of a heart condition.  We are still learning how to grieve something like this.  We are still learning how to even handle something like this that comes along in life.  Losing a child is like losing a limb – you have to relearn how to live without that limb.  We have truly learned that only God is in control…

Two years ago…we were getting ready to start another adoption process from Korea.  Our process with Sara went so smoothly, how could we not work with that country again?  Just about the time we were going to start the application, we learned that we were expecting our own child.  As shocking as that was, it was not as shocking as all the news that came right after…the Down Syndrome, the two heart conditions, the 90 miles a week I had to drive to get to the “high risk pregnancy” doctors that were located in Fairfax Hospital.  We tried to handle this all as best we could.  The moment Caleb was born, we were instantly in love and knew we could handle all that came our way with just one glance into his amazing eyes.  

WELL...Fast forward two years, to 2012, 6 months after Caleb’s passing…we have started the adoption process once again.  We have been working at this since early Spring.  There is a little guy in Taiwan that needs a home.  Yes, he sure does have Down Syndrome!  There was NO way we could take what we learned from Caleb and not put it to good use.  We could not let a child, that might not easily be adopted, be sent to live in an institution because they become “too old” to be adopted by some countries standards.  Call us “crazy”, a “glutton for punishment”, whatever you would like.  This is something we have all thought about, prayed about, dug deep to be able to do!  We know many will wonder how in the world we can replace Caleb…well, there is NO WAY to replace Caleb!!  We are doing this BECAUSE of Caleb! :)  This does not erase any of the grief or emptiness we feel each day.  There is truly no way to simply get rid of or cover up those feelings.  We just need this little guy as much as he needs us!  He needs to live in the U.S. where he will have so many more opportunities to receive specialized care regarding his DS.  Again, we just could not take all that we learned from Caleb, especially the simple fact that we can do it - we can care for a special needs child!  This little guy, half way around the world, is currently being cared for by his birth family.  They have made the ultimate sacrifice in deciding that they cannot care for him in a country like Taiwan and that he needs a home where he can receive therapy, specialized doctor care, etc.  If anyone knows how these parents are feeling or how they will feel when they have to finally give their son up to go live in another country...that would certainly be us!  We are blessed beyond measure that these birth parents chose us to care for their son.  We have adopted before and we have cared for a Down Syndrome child before, so we hope these two facts bring his birth parents just a little bit of comfort as we wait out the rest of this process.  

We have finished our Home Study, we are halfway through our Immigration application, our papers just finished being translated into Chinese which has to be done for these papers to be sent to Taiwan to start their court process.  Unfortunately, Taiwan’s court process can be lengthy, a good 6+ months!    All that are involved in our U.S. agency, as well as the Taiwan agency overseeing his care, are in agreement to appeal to the family court to expedite this process as best they can, for this little guys sake.  We covet your prayers that this last piece of the process will go quickly, so we can get him home as soon as possible.  Unfortunately, with us being right in the middle of this process with a particular little one, we do not feel we can post pictures or mention his name yet.  Please feel free to ask us about him when you see us in person!  We would be happy to share our latest photos of him with you.  

 

Most of all…Caleb Andrew – Happy 2^nd Birthday, precious boy!  Mommy, Daddy, big brother & big sister miss you more than anyone will ever be able to describe.  10 hours, 10 days, 10 months, nothing has changed – we love you to the moon and back!  Thank you for each of the 414 days you hung in there with us and ALL that you taught us – esp. the simple fact that “we can do it”!!  A very bitter sweet day to say the least...