2 years later...

...well, I guess we get through each day...we are still breathing...yet, we are still missing our precious little boy!  It is so very odd to miss one little guy, while taking care of a different one.

We will always miss our boy, we miss him each and every day.  Yet the memories of him, I feel like they are slowly fading.  It is hard to remember what he smelled like, what it felt like to hold him, rock him, feed him, cuddle him.  What his giggle sounded like, how his toes were always in his mouth...the list could go on and on.  It is hard to not remember Caleb like this...

always in the hospital.  It feels like we spent more time going to and from Fairfax Hospital vs. being home with him, but we didn't.  Not sure why the mind always wants to take one to the "dark" times vs. the good.  It was certainly a VERY difficult path in our lives.  We had to split our time between being with our child at the hospital and being with his siblings at home.  We had to leave a child at the hospital 45 minutes away, to come home and spend a little time with his siblings before they went to bed.  Never was and never will be an easy decision between the two!  Yet, there are so many times, in Caleb's final days that I wish I had stayed at the hospital, by his side, now that I do not have that option any more.

In the end...our faith, our family, our church, our friends are what get us through each and every day!  Through it all, we learned that we have much more in us then we ever imagined we had to give!  If it were not for Caleb showing us that we can truly do it, through his own fight and determination, we would not have Kai.  We would have never pursued a special needs adoption, so Caleb lives on through Kai, through all of us...

Caleb Andrew, we miss you more then we can ever express.  We thank you for showing us how strong we can truly be when the going gets tough!  We hold on to the fact that we will get to see you again someday...

One month ago...

this precious little boy was placed in our arms after waiting over a year for paperwork, court hearings, etc.!!  There is NO way to describe what it was like to finally see him in person after receiving only photos and videos during the year of waiting.  We watched him grow before our eyes and to actually be able to see him in person, well...you can imagine.  We have had such a huge hole in our lives, in our home and in our hearts that Caleb left and to see a little boy with similar mannerisms as Caleb was just too much for this momma.  I lost it!  So Kai bonded with John as I tried to get myself together.  We had waited for that moment for SO very long.  I could have watched John and Kai together ALL day long.  John had him laughing within the first five minutes of their meeting each other.  Kai remains a "daddy's boy" to this day.  He will take it! :)  Kai is already babbling "Da-da-da".

May 6th, 2013 will be etched in our memories for a VERY long time.  It is the day we drove 2+hours to a different area of Taiwan.  The day we met with Kai's social workers and then went to a baby store to get him a few last minute items.  It is the day that we walked in to his foster mother's home, sat down on her couch and watched as she went into another room and brought him out to meet us. 

It is the day that I saw a daddy go from greatly missing two little boys to missing one.  The day that we walked out of the foster mother's home with him in our arms and we will never let him go.  The day that we returned to the agency in Taiwan in order to meet with his birth family - his mother, his father, a grandmother and his 6 year old sister!  The day we watched him interact with his birth family with no clue that it would be the last time he would see them (well, for a long time anyway).  We certainly know and understand the great sacrifice they have made for their son to have a "better" life.  We can only promise that we will care for him and love him just like they would have.

It's official...

As of Friday, April 19th, 2013, Yu-Kai became our SON!  This has truly been a journey that Caleb started a couple years ago and we finally have Kai to continue it with us.  A LONG journey, but we are just so thankful that it is finally official!  We appreciate prayers for us as we have ALOT of details to get through before we travel to Taiwan.  We also appreciate prayers for Kai's birth parents as they prepare to say "good bye" to their son.  They have made an incredibly difficult decision to let their son be adopted in order for him to receive the therapies, specialists, etc. that Down Syndrome children need.  They have given our family an incredible gift by entrusting us with Kai and his upbringing.  We know their pain, we know how much they will miss their son, but we hope they will always know and see through updates and photos how much he is loved by so many already!  If all plans continue to go smoothly, Kai will be in our arms on May 6th, two weeks from today!  We will update this blog as best we can during our travels and certainly in the days and months following his homecoming.  Look out Kai...your life is about to change drastically...but we hope you can feel our love with you already.  Ryan and Sara cannot wait to get you HOME!

Chinese New Year - 2013

Happy Chinese New Year...the year of the snake!  A year of transition - we certainly believe that.  Bringing our little guy home will certainly be a big transition for ALL of us.

With the Chinese New Year just a couple days away...we will now have to wait out the holiday in Asia in order to hear anything about our 2nd court hearing.  Most things will be closed all next week for their big holiday celebrations, so we will just wait....and wait....like we have been for months. 

Thank you for your continued prayers on our behalf.  We still hold tight to the fact that HE is in control of this process and Kai will be with our family in His perfect timing.  We just wish it was a lot faster then it seems to be going.  We have currently waited 3 months since our first court hearing in Taiwan, which was back in November!

We will certainly let you know as soon as we hear anything about our next court date.