Caleb's first and only Thanksgiving (2010)
It is truly hard to believe that it has been two months since Caleb left our family...some of the words below I had to copy from a fellow parent who is grieving the loss of their child who has left for 'home' well before we would have liked.
It is truly hard to believe that it has been two months since Caleb left our family...some of the words below I had to copy from a fellow parent who is grieving the loss of their child who has left for 'home' well before we would have liked.
Everywhere.....
Home.
Church.
Target.
At the mailbox.
Driving down the road.
The grocery store.
A friend's house.
Everywhere I go I think of him.
Home.
Church.
Target.
At the mailbox.
Driving down the road.
The grocery store.
A friend's house.
Everywhere I go I think of him.
I miss him so much, there are truly no words to describe how much.
I miss our life before he left for Home.
I miss our family as it used to be.
I miss our life before he left for Home.
I miss our family as it used to be.
Thinking of him brings joy.
Thinking of him brings sorrow.
Such opposite emotions mingled together ~
inseparable in the thought.
Thinking of him brings sorrow.
Such opposite emotions mingled together ~
inseparable in the thought.
I want to endure.
I want to have character.
I want to have genuine hope.
I want to have character.
I want to have genuine hope.
I want Ryan & Sara to be better, stronger people because of this.
Therefore, I must suffer.
There is purpose in this process.
Therefore, I must suffer.
There is purpose in this process.
I could choose to shut my mind off and not think of him, but what a gift his life was (and still is). Not thinking of Caleb would be not thanking Him for such a precious gift.
We are grieving,
but we are trying to figure out how to live life at the same time!
It appears life is as normal.
We go out in public and on the surface we look "normal".
Everyday is hard. Sometimes it's hard to even breathe or pick myself up out of bed.
My tears are always right below the surface, ready to spill out at any moment.
We go out in public and on the surface we look "normal".
Everyday is hard. Sometimes it's hard to even breathe or pick myself up out of bed.
My tears are always right below the surface, ready to spill out at any moment.
The reality is even though on the outside everything looks OK,
on the inside we are brokenhearted and hurting.
Reminds me to be tender with others...
because you never know what they're going through.
on the inside we are brokenhearted and hurting.
Reminds me to be tender with others...
because you never know what they're going through.
Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours! What a different holiday we are going to have this year. We hope you have a truly blessed time with your family. Be sure to make lots of extra special memories!!!
Hi Joanna - Your post brought tears to my eyes - I think about you and your family daily and pray for you. The absence is hard to deal with.
ReplyDeleteWe are here for you, always.
Hi Joanna. I don't know you, but I read your husband's comment on Aaron Schust's blog. I am crying as I read this because I understand all too well what you're going through.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful, sweet baby boy God blessed you with. I love your photos of his smile especially.
Our little boy, Jude, was born in August. We knew he would have Down Syndrome and an AV Canal defect, but he was diagnosed with a coarctation (really narrow aorta) shortly after he was born. The major complication, however, was a bleed on his brain that resulted in all sorts of problems. In October, he died of an infection that we think was more a complication of his neurosurgery than his heart surgery.
It is so good to read your words and hear your heart. My heart remains broken, but the Lord is faithfully walking me through it. He has been so good. We only had 67 days with Jude, and we were never able to take him home.
May the Lord be your comfort as you miss your sweet little guy.