Caleb's first and only Thanksgiving (2010)

It is truly hard to believe that it has been two months since Caleb left our family...some of the words below I had to copy from a fellow parent who is grieving the loss of their child who has left for 'home' well before we would have liked.

Everywhere.....
Home.
Church.
Target.
At the mailbox.
Driving down the road.
The grocery store.
A friend's house.
Everywhere I go I think of him.

I miss him so much, there are truly no words to describe how much.
I miss our life before he left for Home.
I miss our family as it used to be.

Thinking of him brings joy.
Thinking of him brings sorrow.
Such opposite emotions mingled together ~
inseparable in the thought.

I want to endure.
I want to have character.
I want to have genuine hope.

I want Ryan & Sara to be better, stronger people because of this.
Therefore, I must suffer.
There is purpose in this process.

I could choose to shut my mind off and not think of him, but what a gift his life was (and still is). Not thinking of Caleb would be not thanking Him for such a precious gift.

We are grieving,

but we are trying to figure out how to live life at the same time!

It appears life is as normal.
We go out in public and on the surface we look "normal".
Everyday is hard. Sometimes it's hard to even breathe or pick myself up out of bed.
My tears are always right below the surface, ready to spill out at any moment.

The reality is even though on the outside everything looks OK,
on the inside we are brokenhearted and hurting.
Reminds me to be tender with others...
because you never know what they're going through.

Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours! What a different holiday we are going to have this year. We hope you have a truly blessed time with your family. Be sure to make lots of extra special memories!!!

There are truly NO words that describe how much I miss your precious face and everything that made you our perfect Caleb Andrew!

What we love (& miss) about you...

C - character. Caleb you had an amazing personality! You never cried about much of anything. You fussed if you were hungry or tired and that was about it. You loved it when someone was holding you or sitting next to you...esp. your brother or sister.

A - agility. You were more flexible then any little guy we had ever met. Your feet were always up by your head and you LOVED them there. I think you hated sitting up so much because you could not have your feet/legs up where you liked them the best.

L - laugh. You had the most infectious laugh. No matter how hard or busy one of our days was together...your laugh and smile wiped it all away.

E - EYES! Your eyes were the most beautiful blue. They were more beautiful then the most perfect sapphire gem! We received so many compliments regarding your eyes.

B - bounce. You LOVED bouncing away in your bouncy seat. You are the only one of our three that could bounce that seat by yourself or cared to anyway. You would bounce and bounce and bounce yourself until we were motion sick.
*****
A - attention. You got attention everywhere we went. Those that were even complete strangers would stop and talk to you and ask all about you. You were certainly stealing your older sisters thunder. ;) You made so many smile without even knowing you personally.

N - nestle. You could cuddle with the best of them and boy did we love to hold you and cuddle you when you were sleeping...well, anytime for that matter! You loved to have our faces right up next to yours...cheek to cheek.

D - DS! After the initial shock wore off that you had Down Syndrome, we felt truly blessed and honored that we were called to be parents to such a special and amazing child!

R - rolling...rolling...rolling. Once you mastered rolling over, you certainly never stopped when you were on the floor. Up there with rolling...Raspberries! You loved to blow raspberries at us any time, esp. when you were eating or suppose to be swallowing medicine!

E - endurance! You overcame SO many odds and obstacles to even be born, let alone your 414 days here with us. You endured two open heart surgeries with flying colors! Will always wonder where that nasty infection came from that took you from us. Even your favorite cardiologist said it is unusual for it to come on so late after heart surgery. You fought it for 12 days none the less!

W - wonderful...you were certainly beautifully and wonderfully made! This momma cannot wait to hold you again...

Video shown at Caleb's service...

A celebration of Caleb's 414 days on this earth. We are so blessed to have been his parents. We don't know why he had to leave us so quick, but we know that God is in control. He is God and we are not and we trust that he knows what he is doing. Many thanks to Steven Curtis Chapman for writing such a beautiful song...

Link to Caleb's video that his daddy put together for the service...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWn7Ri8mDiM

This is the video that played during the service, this is not the video OF Caleb's service. We do not have that yet.

Caleb Andrew...we miss you more then words could possibly express! Thank you to each and every one of you who have walked this journey by our side. Thank you for the prayers, meals, support and most of all love as we try to figure out how to move forward without our precious boy. We all loved him dearly and he blessed our lives in so many ways in just the 13 months he was with us. He was such a healthy, happy boy and we will never understand why a nasty infection had to take him from us so quickly. We will continue to use this blog...just may take me a little while to figure out what to say...

Caleb's celebration service

Please join us to celebrate each of the 414 days that Caleb blessed our lives! A casual celebration service will be held at Purcellville Baptist Church (http://www.purbap.org/) on Thursday, 9/22 at 4 pm. There will be a short time of visitation before the service starting at 3:30 pm. There is also a reception immediately following the service.

August 2, 2010 - September 19, 2011

Our precious boy went on to his eternal home to crawl into Jesus' lap this morning. There are truly no words to describe how much we miss him already! I am lost without him and have no idea what to do with myself. This house is not the same without him! There are just no words...

Caleb fought as long and as hard as he could. He probably lasted longer then Drs. expected after an infection like this takes over a little body. They did a great job figuring out what it was and getting him the meds he needed to fight the infection, but the damage was already done to his vital organs. His heart couldn't handle the dialysis and other interventions he needed.

We thank you all so very much for the encouragement these last couple weeks. They kept us going during a very rough road.

John & Joanna